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My bangs look so good today weeeee

Talking to teenagers is like..the hardest thing to do. I have to keep trying even when he gives me that “leave me alone” attitude sometimes. But he’s my baby brother so I will not give up. He’ll understand it some day, right?

Had to be soft enough so that I don’t push him away.

Had to be tough enough to show that I can’t accept his behaviors and he needs to fix it. He needs to do better in school. He said he doesn’t have enough time so he chose to play instead of doing homework. Lucky for him that the teacher called me and not my parents. My parents would go crazy on him.

We talked for like an hour. I told him things. I told him I’m worried about him. I asked him to try to set his priority straight. I would always choose people over academic grades or career if I feel like it’s worth it. But games? (..Unless games are somehow more important than people for him at this moment..hm..it’s a phrase, isnt it?) So I was telling him how bad it is when he doesn’t know what is more important.. “you can’t keep putting all your heart and mind into something that would never do you any good” I said, not sure who I’m trying to convince more- him or myself.

He promised to play after he’s done with HW now. Hopefully he gets some ideas, makes better decisions and not having to go through what I’ve learned the hard way. I ended up crying. I’m really emotional, arent I? I just want to help him somehow. Be there and be understanding. If one day I have to go somewhere and not live near him, I don’t want to feel like I never leave any impact in his life.

I think the conversation went well though.

Eating ice cream in the cold while having a runny nose. Who’s hardcore???

If I want to hide something from you, you would never be able to discover it.

But why is it that i put it out there, asking you to understand it and understand me..

and yet you won’t?

Lost in translation was the first movie we watched together. I watched it for the first time and you watched it for…I dont know how many time you watched it before. But you told me it was good, and indeed it was.

I remembered that the first scene was a showing of Scarlett Johansson’s butt. I was thinking how much of an awesome scene this was when you said it out loud, as if you were reading my mind. I knew then that we would get along well :) 

Miss you, friend.